Hmmm I know right, where is Tiffy going with this? I think the biggest misconception the world and media was to create an illusion and perception that marriage is a cloud of romance and “happily ever after” concept. Do not get me wrong marriage is beautiful and can eventually lead to joy, peace and happiness but it’s not served on a silver platter. One of the biggest shocks newly married couples come across is the hard work one has to put in the marriage for it to be fruitful. Well I for one when I met my dream man, Beast, on face value I didn’t think at some point I will be introduced to the not attractive side of him , neither did he think the sweet , bubbly Tiffy has a temper . You see with marriage we look at our spouses like an iceberg, but we never see the submerged part of it, we see our spouses on face value (the tip of the iceberg), their attractiveness, their personality but we never see the part God is working on, the hidden side, and as the side comes in full play it’s easy to say this marriage is not serving me happiness and let go. It has happened a lot of times couples leaving their marriage because the ugly side of their spouse tampered with their happiness.

I have heard too many people let go of their marriages because it doesn’t serve them happiness anymore, one of the silliest statements I have ever heard was “Love doesn’t have to be so hard, it should be simple”. I always look at Gods love to his people, he had to sacrifice his own begotten son for our salvation and if it is not proving enough that Love is not simple and easy then I don’t know. As it is to love yourself as an individual, and embrace the notso perfect parts about ourselves and to brew our own happiness every day is not that simple, a lot of people still don’t get it, a lot of people are still battling with loving themselves and just like marriage it’s easy to look at the not so perfect side but it’s with a choice and intention to love our marriages and embrace it despite the not so perfect parts of it, and it is with that reason I don’t believe in such a thing as effortless love, love demands sacrifice, compromise and empathy and maybe our little efforts could eventually lead to a happy marriage.

But I do not want us to miss the whole point of marriage, it was never for the sole purpose of our happiness, but the sole of purpose of glorifying God, happiness is a bonus for obedience, our sole existence was to live for God and for us to inherit the Kingdom and its righteousness. So with marriage it was created with the concept of honouring God, glorifying God, for families to be the cornerstone of the society and raise the next generations under his love and grace but instead many of us get married because we are in love and it is with that reason it’seasy to think the end goal is supposed to serve us happiness.

After my salvation my life had always been to serve God with my talents and time, and when I got married I think most of my prayers were dedicated towards serving God with my marriage, I didn’t know how but I would plead God to use my marriage for his glory, something that would add to the marriage ministry and impact the unmarried and the married to understand the concept of marriage. Two years later God planted the idea of blogging about my experiences and challenges and I hesitated at first because wow that time my marriage was fairly new and it was flames everywhere, also I didn’t want to put pressure on my marriage should the readers put us on a pedestal. But notice my reasons were selfish; they were entangled with fear too, then I remembered that I had surrendered my marriage to God to use it for his glory; I had to trust God with the path he had chosen for me and believe that it is for his glory. It is with this reason that I aspire to glorify God with my marriage, by being obedient to his word, by renewing my mind and serving him, happiness to me it is just an addition. The word of God in Matthew 6:33, says seek first the kingdom of God and its righteousness and everything will be added to you.

When you put happiness behind your marriage aspiration, you automatically create expectations and it’s inevitable that your expectations will not be met, which leads to disappointments, resentment and unhappiness in a marriage, but when your marriage sole aspiration is to glorify God and serve him then everything will be added unto you. While you are serving God it doesn’t necessarily mean there won’t be problems, a lot of Christians can agree that serving God does not immune us from life happening , just like the three men that were in the fire, God didn’t stop the fire but he was with them in the fireand they came out unscathed. Sometimes I blog during disagreements and silent treatments hahahabut I have realised it is easy to identify issues I should pray for, or work on, or put more effort on, because I have surrendered my marriage to God, it easy to pour out wisdom, sometimes it’s hard to listen sometimes it’s not, but I am rest assured that he is working everything for my good. Happiness as a marriage aspiration leads to selfishness.

So how can you serve God with your marriage? I blog but not all of us has the time and passion for writing so you can go for what speaks to you best.1. You can choose a couple that is struggling financially and send them money anonymously.2. You can serve with your time and money, at an orphanage or charity centre of your choice.3. You can give an offering towards a marriage ministry of your choice, like Marriage Today, Jimmy Evans or XO, Ashley Willis and her hubby, or Mpoomy Ledwaba and her hubby on Youtube so as to continue blessing marriages.4. Dedicating time to God as husband and wife to pray and read the word of God together.

Thank you for reading again, please subscribe to the blog so as to get a weekly dose of Boldtiffy publications. Like and comment, always nice to hear from you guys.Thank you also for the readers who always remind me to post and wait patiently, I always take it as a form of encouragement. Until wemeet again next Wednesday/Thursday.

2 Responses

  1. Very true hle Tiffy. Can we all go back to the center of it alm and relent the weight of our marriage in Gods hands. That we have bestowed so heavily upon our selves.

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