“God is not a man, so he does not lie. He is not human, so he does not change his mind. Has he ever spoken and failed to act? Has he ever promised and not carried it through?” – Numbers 23:19

Being consistent in keeping promises creates trust, dependability in a relationship and  trust is a key foundation in a relationship. While consistency is a necessity in a relationship it is often a rare thing to find in any form of human relationships. The only consistency we can get in a relationship is from our father above, because he is an infallible God. God does not break promises, he fulfills them. He is not a man and does not go back on his word. In Marriage while we are sharpening one another to become one, hurt becomes part of the process and often promises are made to bring back hope into the relationship and further build on the marriage, often than not, human beings break promises.

A month ago I had set personal goals for myself. I strongly believed that should I attain those set goals my life will improve for the better. Ok…Ok.. I read the 5am club book and it transformed my life (Oh so I thought It did). Everything made sense and immediately I even aligned it with Proverbs 31 woman I always aspired to (verse 15), “She wakes up early in the morning, cooks food for her family, and gives the servants their share”. Perfect! I thought…..A week passed and waking up at 5am was a struggle, mind you it is cold. Next thing I know a whole month had passed, and all my 5am plans had not materialized. Slowly but surely I had a mild depression about it, I failed myself, I couldn’t do one goal I had set for myself that was going to improve my life. I wallowed in my self pity.

While in my sadness, asking myself a couple of questions on why this was so difficult for me, a gentle voice inside of me said, “While it was not so easy to keep your own promises, let it be a lesson not to be too hard on your husband, sister, mother if they too fail to keep their promises to you.” I was shattered after the Holy spirit made that revelation to me. How many times do I let myself down? How many times do I make new years resolutions only to postpone them for the next year? But dare my husband break his promises. It dawned on me that sometimes people make promises in relationships with the hope of making the relationships better but their promises are out of character, maybe they need to go for a few therapy sessions for them to reinforce their promises or maybe they have to try many times and fail many times until they get it right. 

I learned that sometimes I am too hard on other people because I am too hard on myself. The fact that I failed to attain my goal ate me up to a point of mild depression, I beat myself up so much, it would only make sense why I would offer the other person the pain i give myself when I let myself down. Honestly the relationship we have with ourselves reflects in relationships around us. If you break your own promises, you will break others also. If you are hard on yourself, you will be hard on other people.

However the Bible says it is better not to make a promise than to make and not keep it( Deuteronomy 23: 21-23 ). A promise should not be made in any situation, because it creates many obligations, and when not met breaks trust between two people. It is better to work on ourselves which eventually reflect in the relationship without creating expectations and making promises to the other person incase they are out of our reach but incase promises are made out of desperation to turn things around, please if you can offer a little bit of empathy.

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