“Satan asked Eve: “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”- Genesis 3:1

Ever since the blog has come to surface I have also become a counselor and an intercessor for a-lot of marriages. I understand the assignment, that sometimes becoming a lighthouse, it also means attracting the desolate seeking for answers, answers most times I do not have but funny enough I find that the questions they have, I also have. I thank God for this blog because as I take everyone on my thought process and marital experiences, someone else is going through the same or already have or will do at some point. 

When Marriage has dusted us through different challenges that we come across, the first thing that comes to mind is doubt. “Was this a mistake?”. When you have fasted , and begged and pleaded with God and asked him to change your situation but instead it doesn’t seem to be going to a halt but progressing further and you ask yourself, God did I hear you well? Is this man really the one you designed for me? Was this marriage a mistake? First of all before we could even dive further into the question whether a marriage could be a mistake or not. I would love for us to “agree” on one thing, the enemy’s greatest weapon is to plant confusion and doubt. Genesis 3:1, Satan asked Eve: “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” The aim of this question was not to learn what God had actually said but to sow doubt in Eve’s mind. The devil is crafty and schemes, and he starts by sowing doubt. Does my mom really love me? Is life really worth living?. Now if ever you start questioning your marriage, your life significance, rest assured you are in a spiritual war, his execution plan to destroy you is right underway. It starts with a simple question that sows doubt.

I am passionate about marriage, marriage for Christ that is. I love the concept of life and marriage. God made man in his image to bring Heaven on Earth, he also made the marriage institution as a holy covenant to execute multiplication and fruitfulness on Earth. Kingdom of God principles do not change through eras, trends but is constant. There is no exact formula for life nor is there for marriage but just principles to live by. Hence I do not believe anyone would enter into a marriage covenant with God (Covenant between God, you and spouse) only to be a mistake, as much as I believe anyone could be born on this Earth only to be a mistake. These two concepts, Life and Marriage are born of God or conceptualized by God and could never be a mistake. 

The only gift, I also believe is a curse is that God gave us choice. The ability to choose who we enter into a marriage covenant with, that is why God will show you all the “red flags” before you get into a marriage covenant with him. Everything I used to complain about to God about my husband was also something I knew before I got married. Most times we choose to focus on the good while we are dating and while married focus on the bad. Anyone that has come to me to complain about their husband it is mostly things they knew before they got married. Hence Jesus on Matthew 19:11 urged the disciples to only get married if they vow to be separated by death or sexual immorality with their spouses because Jesus was explaining that before you get married, you have a choice of who you enter into a covenant with but after the marriage, you are in -you are in. 

Life and a marriage are similar that is why I compare a divorce to a suicide, why you may ask? Ask people that have gone through a divorce they will tell you. A Divorce is stripping two people from each other that had become one, emotionally, spiritually, financially and physically. Life itself has many challenges but life with Jesus comes with abundance (John 10:10) but sometimes life becomes unbearable and from desolation one can decide, is this even worth it? I might as well die while with marriage after constant arguments and lack of peace, you ask yourself is this marriage even worth it? Can I tell you that life is worth it? That marriage is worth it? It only takes Jesus to change the whole situation around.

Marriage is between three people, God , and two spouses. Human beings are complex, with different layers but the both of them can actively work towards the success of their marriage adhering the Kingdoms principles, working towards becoming the best version of themselves and prayer lots of prayer. Psalms 127:1 says, “Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor is in vain”. There is no life nor marriage without God no matter the effort you put on individually. I do believe every marriage stands a chance of restoration. I hold fast on Philippians 1:6 that says,“being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Since God is at the beginning of every Marriage, either knowingly or unknowingly, he promises to finish any marriage he starts to completion. 

I don’t however believe Marriage can be a mistake but choosing wrong could be detrimental to the success of a marriage. Again since the scripture advises us to not be unequally yoked as the Marriage could be straining for another spouse. Hence I strongly believe in choosing right for Marriage, I believe is actually important as you are choosing a lifetime partner without any possibility of getting out, well says Jesus in Matthew 19.Questioning life or marriage is a sign that the enemy is sowing confusion and doubt in us . There is hope any marriage as long both spouses believe that God will fulfill his promises with their Marriage.

We have come to the end. Its always nice to hear from you, comments, addition, constructive feedback.Thank you so much for always. reading, please share with your loved ones, like, comment and subscribe. Follow us on Instagram and Facebook:@ BoldTiffy.

6 Responses

  1. Its always a pleasure reading this blog,I’m empowered weekly for marriage 🥰😍🙌🏼🙌🏼👌🏽in my singleness. God bless your marriage Au’s Tiffy

  2. My eyes are truly open,not so long ago i wanted to give up,what an eye opener.i love and beleive today all that you have said

    1. Hello Tseli, Thank you so much for reading. God is at the beginning and end of your marriage. Marriage is Gods concept, continue to surrender your marriage under his Lordship and focus on yourself and let him deal with the rest.

  3. Let’s refer to Eve’s reply to the snake “We may eat the fruit of any tree,” versus the snake “tell you not to eat ” shows that Eve was aware of the lie the snake was telling her.
    A mistake is a wrong occurrence in a good process. Some mistakes are deadly some correctable but not punishable.

    With God a mistake is a SIN and punishable. Adam and Eve for a fruit, Moses for striking the rock.

    Marriage, the execution of God’s command Genesis 1:28 blessed them and said, “Have many children so that your descendants will live all over the earth and bring it under their control.” is the power/work of God delegated to us so can happen with lots of mistakes because we are given the power to decide or choose.

    Arranged, forced and planned marriages.
    Arranged –Adam and Eve.
    Forced–Jacob and Leah,
    Planned–Jacob and Rachel.
    In arranged and forced marriages the process of loving each other did not happen, doubts are high here, so expect the unacceptable. These marriages are mistakes before they begin.
    In a planned marriage, LOVE is the main influence/source. “GENESIS 29:18 Jacob was in love with Rachel.”
    However, even though this marriage is the best preferred it can still be a mistake because sometimes LOVE IS BLIND and can move to wrong directions straight into doom or disaster.
    Reasons for divorce also don’t seem to exist “Matthew 19:4–6. so actually if you are in you are in.
    However we must ask God for an alternative/choice to correct a mistake marriage or mistakes in a marriage.

    1. Thank you so much for reading and your comment, I appreciate such comments as they enable us to delve better into the topic at hand. My understanding of the comment gives me the impression that you believe a marriage can be a mistake, I still continue to disagree with you as I have therefore mentioned on the post that Marriage and life are in my eyes similar concepts by God. Some people are born by or into bad circumstances such as rape but it doesn’t mean that their lives were a mistake because God is a giver of life, he was at the beginning of that said life, Only God has the power to use that life for his glory. So is marriage, people get into marriages for different reasons (if we are being honest, misinformed decisions), all of those reasons could therefore not be of good standing but it doesn’t mean that marriage was a mistake because God was at the beginning of the said marriage. God has the power to use any marriage for his glory of course if we work with him. Matthew 19 the disciples therefore decided it is better not to get married because Jesus had said no man should separate a marriage, but a marriage can only be nullified by death and sexual immorality with my understanding and opinion it meant once you take up on marital vows “you are in , you are in”. We are agree on one thing though deciding to get out of a marriage for other reasons is disobedience/Sin and Like you have mentioned in you are reply there is consequences for disobedience/Sin. However I did not use this platform to advocate for divorce but to advocate for fighting for marriages and putting Jesus at the centre of marriages because I do believe that, Surrendering any marriage under the Lordship of Jesus is our best bet in doing Marriage correctly. Thank you so much for your comment I hope to see you more often in the comment section. Keepwell

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