“Do not let your adorning be external the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wearbut let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. “- 1 Peter 3:3-4

I think everyone is well aware of the war between femininity and masculinity, and to some extent when you have been overly let down by men like me, you tend to trust them less, as a defense and survival mechanism, you fight back. A lot of my peers, women and men were raised in broken homes or dysfunctional homes (Abusive fathers : emotionally, neglect, financially and physically ), this atmosphere has breed the spirit of masculinity in women. “I am never going to allow a man treat me the way he treats my mom”, you utter this words with anguish under your breath. Every time you repeat this to yourself, unconsciously it becomes a chant of your proclamation of war towards men without knowing it. Unfortunately it has become every woman’s chant consciously or subs consciously. I traced it back to my childhood because growing up, I remember I never had physical fights with girls but I was always caught up in a broil with boys. Only later on this year the Holy Spirit revealed it to me that I carried a masculine spirit, because it only makes sense that only the ignorant would want to imitate the opposition’s power instead of harnessing their own power. God gave all women a feminine spirit as their power and we are too busy imitating masculinity to realize and harness our own power, that is also where submission is birthed effortlessly and the devil knows it that is why there is war between masculinity and femininity. 

A Husband is the head but the head can not do anything without the neck, hahahaha. Sounds cliche but it is true. While I was struggling with submission, I prayed to God, to help me but in honest truth I didn’t first diagnose it as a submission problem but my husband as the problem, ain’t God funny? So while I was busy praying to God and telling him,  “fix your child God”, he said, “since you are here, first let’s start with you!” God took me on a journey and removed this blindfold from my eyes, I was so ashamed. I carried a masculinity spirit in me, and it mirrored my husband, I imitated everything he did remember subconsciously I was on war and I was on defense, without being feminine submission was impossible. 

Femininity is rooted in the inward spirit of a woman, the Bible defines it as  the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit (1 Peter 3:3,4). It is through femininity women are able to be soft, vulnerable, nurturing, relational. Its a powerful spirit that influences and very impactful. It is through identifying yourself in Christ that you are able to know about the beauty of femininity and its purpose. The more I leaned towards God, the more I embraced the feminine side of me, and the Holy Spirit taught me how to be feminine, how to harness it and use it to influence, to nurture, guide, counsel my husband. The Bible has a few examples of a few women that understood the power of their femininity although some didn’t use it so well. Eve, Delilah, Ruth. The missing puzzle to this equation of submission is a man that Loves his wife. Love and submission go hand in hand. When you read about the men in the bible that were impacted or influenced by femininity , Samson fell inlove with Delilah , Boaz was an honorable man and Ruth found favor in his sight. Ephesians 5:25, “  Husbands love your wives as Christ loves the church and gave himself up for her”, to me that is the greatest and hardest role a husband was given. When a wife is loved right the way by her husband, it allows their femininity to flourish and submission becomes second nature not a role she oughts to play. Now that we talk of Femininity and submission, maybe there is a correlation of Love and masculinity.

However, in my experience submission came through as a result of obedience, listening to the Holy Spirit, which lead to being showed that I was mirroring my husband’s masculinity. Obedience was sold to us as fearing God but Obedience was for our own protection and welfare.  Also the reason why submission or any change we reinforce in our marriage is not sustainable is because it is out of own efforts, but when we do anything out of the obedience of God, guys!!! God has the ability to change any marriage because of one spouse’s obedience. Every time things change in my marriage because of the result of my obedience I always wish I would have done it sooner. Pray and fast for your marriages but always listen to guidance of the Holy spirit, often than not, the answer to our problems is always in us.

I have come to the end. Its always nice to hear from you, comments, addition, constructive feedback.Thank you so much for always. reading, please share with your loved ones, like, comment and subscribe. Follow us on Instagram and Facebook:@ BoldTiffy.

12 Responses

  1. What a wake up call,wow. I’ve always know that I behave more masculine than feminine now I know and understand why. It’s difficult for me to submit to a man because of fear that he’ll hurt me or take advantage of me……I’ve carried this from my first heartbreak till now.

    Funny my mom was so submissive and I learned that from her but got into a relationship were my submission was not appreciated instead it was used. That made me mirror every guys ways just to protect my heart.

    Can officially say I’ll start working on my self from now on.

    Keep up the good work💕

    1. Hello Refiloe, Thank you so much for reading. Truly we are all one person going through the same challenges just with different outlooks, we just need to intentionally work on ourselves so as to nurture the world around us better. I am glad you enjoyed and related to the Blogpost.

  2. Interesting take on this one. I like you relevance and alignment to your personal encounters.


  3. I must say, you are gifted. You are doing exactly what God has sent us to do. Thank you for the wonderful messages, for being a woman of prayer, for sharing your experiences to build us young wives.

  4. This so beautifully explain what I’ve been feeling about women and the loss of femininity. This is a God Word indeed.

  5. I have been asking God to help me be a good wife and I have found where I must start. You have spoken the truth,every word is so true and has opened my eyes to see how I’ve been deceiving myself. Thank you🙏

    1. Thank you so much Thando, may God bless your marriage and enrich with all the knowledge and wisdom concerning the Marriage convenant .

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