Facets of my Healing

“ After saying this, he spit on the ground, made some mud with the saliva, and put it on the man’s eyes. “Go,” he told him, “wash in the Pool of Siloam. So the man went and washed, and came home seeing”. -John 9:6-7 

Few weeks ago while taking a walk and having conversations with myself but more so with God, I found myself being thankful for my marriage because it is through this covenant, I was able to experience Christ in a deeper level and also lead me to embarking on a journey of healing. My marriage exposed my brokenness, all the trauma that had accumulated in my life surfaced and needless to say, “it was not cute”. The more the ugliness reared it’s head, I was easily offended at anything someone says or does and would finish of with a pity party, going over and over the hurt in my mind. I knew I grew up sensitive but my marriage unravelled it. We all love being victims because it is easier than introspection and taking accountability. It takes a lot of prayer, surrendering to the Holy Spirit (Obedience) to be able to get a conviction and seek healing instead. Being in denial is another modification of Pride, the fastest way of killing your self or relationships around you is clinging on to pride. All it does is delays healing or restoration to take it’s course. In my own experience restoration and healing has taken place when I started acknowledging my brokenness, repented and submitted under the obedience of the Holyspirit, humility (2 Chronicles 7:14).

It all started with my habit of praying with the intent of reporting my husband hahaha yeiii (I know theres multitudes of us please), and after my rant I would come back with my own convictions. It is a trap, do not do it, God has a habit of saying, “Oh since you are here, let’s start with you”. Where the spirit of the Lord is, chains are broken and eyes are opened, and when we pray we enter in the presence of God and because he is a Just God and loves us so much, he wants to uproot certain parts of us that will hinder us from living a life he has called us unto. He is gentle with us, he never forces onto us. He reveals, it’s up-to us to be obedient and listen to to him or continue with our stubbornness (Which never gets us anywhere). Jesus used his spit to make mud and put on the mans eyes, right there was a sign of faith, this man was aware he was blind and couldn’t see like everyone else and acknowledged he needed healing and because he heard of Jesus he sought him for his healing. Yet the healing he anticipated didn’t exactly go as he had thought. Someone would have refused to let someone put spit on their eyes no matter how they heard stories about them (Pride) but he trusted Jesus with his healing so he let him. The truth is, trusting God means sometimes apologizing to people that hurt you because the Holy Spirit commanded you to, and we miss out on our healing because we are not humble or obedient enough. Jesus continues to command the same man to go to a river and wash himself, this is the Jesus this man knew healed people in an instant but he had to go wash his mud first, it takes so much humility and a different type of obedience for the man to have gone to the river with mud made by spit on his eyes , believing for a healing. This man was healed by his obedience and I resonate with this man so much and I know a lot of people reading this Blogpost do too, I have prayed for instant healing but I had to relinquish my pride for obedience, to finally experience healing and peace. I now embrace my sensitiveness as discernment, I have surrendered it to the Holy Spirit and it is finally used for my wellbeing and the wellbeing of others than hurt myself and the people I love.

Peace that surpasses all understanding finally makes sense to me, if I could try to explain I could say it feels like tangible stillness. But You really can not explain it that is why the Bible says it surpasses all understanding. Sometimes I feel like I am still waiting for Jesus to tell me to get up and walk to go get my healing , yet sometimes I feel like I can shout at the top of my lungs on the mountain top with praises because I have been healed. The reason being, the righteousness of God is a transformative process, the deeper the intimacy with Christ the more the refinery takes place, and paves way for healing whereas at the very same time, you look back and realize the transformation that has already taken place. For me my healing has many facets, and sometimes I busk in my healing while sometimes I struggle with different areas of my brokenness because I still struggle with fully letting go. 

The conversations I have with most couples more like counseling if we are being honest, I am about to charge by the hour, lol, they have one thing in common “offense “ , pop culture calls it “triggers”. A lot of marriages are filled with people that are in-denial of who they are and would rather play a blame game, accusations, back and forth, fighting one another just to be right. I also listen to all spouses that talk to me about their marriage woes and one thing still remains the same offense and lack of self introspect…..in other words, brokenness. Healing started with me before it could gravitate to my marriage or other relationships, while my spouse could be battling with his own brokenness, I am still going through the process of purification and refinery and it is through my obedience that I received my healing which eventually healed parts of my marriage in the process. The more intimate I get with God the more revelation on what the marriage covenant is all about, marriage is a ministry, and you can not minister to another person while you are broken because grace, love, mercy needs to abound in the deepest parts of you and if you are broken it’s impossible to do so.

And just like that, it is the end. Its always nice to hear from you with comments, additions or constructive feedback.Thank you so much for always reading and please share with your loved ones, like, comment and subscribe. Follow us on Instagram and Facebook:@ BoldTiffy.