“Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. .” 1 Corinthians 7:5.

Beast and I (my husband) were having a conversation about our individual convictions on why sex was only made for marriage but of course human brokenness always finds it’s way in the cookie jar. Only now that I am married I get to enjoy sex as a beautiful, sacred concept, it is a gift that just keeps on giving. I however, do wish I waited for marriage. The more I spend time in prayer, God reveals his heart and the more intimate we become in our relationship, I understand God better. I understand the concept of life better, marriage covenant better and sex better. God is part of every sexual activity in a marriage, the build up of intimacy between spouses raises the bar on the quality of sexual experience and now and I realize that my sexual experience before marriage was not even worth it, it’s like eating a Michelin star dish (A Michelin star is the ultimate hallmark of culinary excellence, fine dining but levels, imagine levels of fine dining lol), at home as a takeaway without even knowing it is Michelin star,  like you can only taste the quality and exquisiteness of the dish but without the fine dining experience at the restaurant, you don’t have the whole experience. My Pastor narrated a story of how his teen girls at the time, would come home and tell him about being pressured to have sex by their peers and he said he would tell them, “Well those girls will never in their lives be virgins again, they can never get their purity back again, so hold on to yours because once it is gone you can not get it back again”. It hit me in the depth of my stomach, maybe because finally I understood the statement, I resonated with the words of the Pastor as they echoed. God loves us so much and his principles are really establish, to guard and protect us from ourselves (2 Thessalonians 2:3). Looking back, one thing I am certain of now, you will never ever regret keeping your purity until marriage but you will have more reason to regret having sex before my marriage, many married people can attest to this. 

Sex in a marriage is Holy because God is part of the intimacy (Lol he really is there, I mean why would he command us not to deprive one another?), because  he is also the third party in the marriage covenant. Sex is worship (adoring one another) experience between the spouses and God, surrendering to one another in adoration in the presence of God. God created us to worship and glorify him, when we enter a covenant with him, the purpose of the marriage covenant is to advance the Kingdom of God, to glorify God and even when sex is involved it means worshiping and glorifying God together. Sex brings us closer to God and to each other as spouses. Sex welds together spouses, it makes the two spouses become one, every session of worship, welds the two spouses more until they become one, (Matthew 19:6). When we worship God, we go to a secret place (Where we are not seen), we become vulnerable and bare, render our worship at the alter, same as having sex requires stripping bare and becoming vulnerable with one another as spouses at the altar of your choice of cause but the marital room and bed is very sacred, I mean have you seen how we decorate the bed with nice linen and cushions. God designed sex for marriage, and engaging in marital sex is worshiping him. The one thing I missed to understand in my singleness is that having sex with anyone that is not my husband doesn’t remove the technicalities of the intention of sex as a Godly concept, you still become one in spirit, you still worship the other person and the other person still worships you but this time without the presence of God.

Movies, music and Pornography shape the frame of sex we have in our minds. Our innocence is stripped away from us at a very young age because of what we get exposed to in the media. When I say the devil schemes, he is not here to play. Indoctrinating of sex through media is an intentional plan to de-value sex as a form of worship. Coming of age movies, create this beautiful idea of losing your virginity in college, hook ups, cheating, Sexual music (Helang?! The devil is so busy) By the time we get married we have absorbed the wrong ideas of sex, and do not value sex as a beautiful gift of worship to God. And we want to apply the same wrong ideologies we have into our marriages. 

While at the same time Sex is such a taboo in the church, because we have relinquished sex to the world to define it for us, purity is taught in fear and set as a standard of Holiness or virtuousness. The church has indoctrinated sex as a worldly thing to help preserve purity and by the time Christians get married,  we have either had sex before, automatically in our minds we have sinned and convicted ourselves or we have not had sex because we fear sinning both making the ideology of marriage tricky in marriage. We learn everything about sex in the world, the Church instills fear around sex. We need to break down ideologies and learn about Godly sex.A God fearing man can be loving husband that provides and protects and be intoxicated by the breast of his wife just like in the Songs of Solomon, and have a sexual passionate desire for the wife and a virtuous and praying woman can be a freak in sheets, seduce their husband and be wild for their husband, and wear lacy underwear and cute nightwear. 

I would love to urge married people to harness the power of sex in their married lives. Ask God to bless you with the wisdom of understanding sex as his concept, for me I now understand is worship. Unfortunately a lot of married folks still don’t understand the concept of marriage, they entered the marriage covenant with what they learned on media and pornography and misuse it, hence the high rate of sexual immorality in marriages (Cheating). When you don’t know the value of what you have, you will squander it. Let us use sex as a way of worshipping our God, and one another as spouses and use it as a gift, a service to one another. I would love to urge unmarried people to wait until marriage, if you don’t trust me as a person , trust God and lean not on your own understanding or BoldTiffys understanding. He will lead you and counsel you to canaan, the land of milk and honey…Marriage sex hahahaha. 

Please do not embarrass me, tonight call on your wife or husband for a session of worship on the alter of your choice hahaha. Just like that it is the end. Its always nice to hear from you with comments, additions or constructive feedback.Thank you so much for always reading and please share with your loved ones, like, comment and subscribe. Follow us on Instagram and Facebook:@ BoldTiffy.

8 Responses

  1. I held on to my virginity until I was 19. And unfortunately we’ve always been told sex is for adults and guess what happened to me when I was told I am responsible for my life at 18?did adult things. We need to teach our children better. And while we cannot go back or hold on to regrets we can atleast practice holiness in our marriages.

    1. i honestly can not add onto this comment,a beautiful addition to the Blogpost. Thank you so much, we need to reintroduce purity wrapped in love not fear

  2. I await the Lord for that world of Canaan🤣😍🙌🏼
    Well said @boldtiffy

    Continue to inspire marriage Gods way.

  3. The feeling kills me, and ke ema kapela seipone saka more often trying to remember how beautiful my body was prior engaging in sexual activities by choice anyway but i cannot get my beauty back!!!😒😒😒😒😒😒

    1. Awww Patty, I can relate fully the confidence struggle after giving birth, I had to learn that confidence is i my mind not how i look…training our thoughts can go a long way ❤️

  4. This is beautiful. I honestly feel like sex I had before marriage was meaningless and not enjoyable compared to now and I regret it, but we grow and we learn ❤️

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *