“Not everyone is mature enough to live a married life. It requires a certain aptitude and grace. Marriage isn’t for everyone. Some, from birth seemingly, never give marriage a thought. Others never get asked—or accepted. And some decide not to get married for kingdom reasons. But if you’re capable of growing into the largeness of marriage, do it.”- Matthew 19:11-12 (MSG).

I often joke with my friends that the church should establish a bootcamp for unmarried people to prepare them for marriage because yeii it doesn’t require one to be only spiritual but also emotional and psychological . They will be able to set us apart, the ones ready for marriage and the ones that have to carry on in their single-hood, one thing is for sure I would never have bothered if that was the criteria, hahaha. I think I have emphasized enough on previous blogs that marriage as a covenant is a concept far from the fairytale narrative of a happily ever we have been sold by the media, from Disney movies, romcoms to relationships and marriage trends on social media. It has always been  an unspoken society standard that at some point, you have to settle down and be married which puts unnecessary pressure on the youth, there’s nothing wrong with marriage , actually because it is a Kingdom concept if done right it eventually becomes a fairytale but we all have different journeys and purpose on Earth that is why Romans 12:2 urges us not to conform to the standards and patterns of the world but renew our minds and test and approve Gods will over our lives. 

I wish I found this new perception, understanding and knowledge of a marriage covenant and singleness before I got married. I probably would have enjoyed my singleness without the pressure of “Boaz” finding me. By the time most us reach our late 20s and early 30s there’s already a frantic of prayer and fasting for marriage, this societal standard has set us up for frustration and anxiety, resentment, doubt and disbelief the longer we wait. This worldly standard has caused great harm but the most dangerous one is doubt that ultimately push us into marrying for the wrong reasons, a recipe for disaster, the more we rush in the faster we get out. It is better to stay single for the rest of your life than to marry wrong and regret for the rest of your life. Paul advises the unmarried to stay single because honestly it’s actually a huge amount of emotional, spiritual and psychological work to be married (1 Corinthians 7:7-8).

We were all created to advance the Kingdom of God on Earth with our gifts, a city on the hill.   To pursue our Heavenly purpose on Earth, that is our individual mandate. Marriage on the other hand, is two people aligning their Heavenly purposes to advance the Kingdom of God on Earth. This is the tricky part, single people are not aware of this important part of a marriage covenant because if they did I don’t think there would be a substantial marriages in the church. Life itself is not exactly linear and being yoked with someone in a covenant means your adding another life to your already existing life to navigate both of your lives together. It requires effort, dying of self, obedience to the Holy Spirit, refining of character while at the very same carrying out your purpose on Earth. The fairytale, the romance and the happiness that comes with marriage is a reward of both the spouses doing the work seamlessly, and all of this is possible when the both of you are equally yoked.

I know single women that can not wait to get married and I also know married women that wish they had stayed single or chosen a better candidate to yoke with in a marriage covenant. They all have one thing in common, conforming to a worldly a standard of what society thinks of them. There is nothing wrong with completely being single all your life and serving God in your singleness unless you are burning with passion ofcourse then it’s ok to sought out marriage, unfortunately most of us have been exposed to sex at a very young age and our passions often motivate our decisions to seek marriage from God. However it’s absolutely detrimental to get married to get married only because of a burning passion without the full understanding and knowledge of the essence of marriage.

The only time I would advise anyone to get into a marriage covenant, is when they fully understand what a covenant is, and when their reason to get married aligns with advancing the Kingdom of God but most importantly when they have thoroughly sought Gods will and they are confident that they have been called in the marriage covenant. Singleness is not better than marriage nor marriage better than singleness both serve a purpose individually in our lives and both should be dependent on God’s will not on the patterns of this world. 

And just like that, it is the end. Its always nice to hear from you with comments, additions or constructive feedback.Thank you so much for always reading and please share with your loved ones, like, comment and subscribe. Follow us on Instagram and Facebook:@ BoldTiffy.

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