“Then Moses said to the LORD, “O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither before nor since You have spoken to Your servant; but I am slow of speech and slow of tongue.”- Exodus 4:10

Lol…Lol again, I am meditating on this scripture thinking what are the odds that at some point Moses and I had the same thought cross our minds? Lord who am I to be mindful of me? (Psalm 8:4). I don’t know the exact emotion that Moses had at that time when he posed this question to God but I can tell you mine. I was angry because why would the Holy Spirit encourage me to embark on YouTube when I have so much trauma from humiliation in public speaking. Times I would be called to speak but words would never come out and my mind would freeze. Times I would feel like a fraud because I knew I had the knowledge and the understanding but I was not eloquent enough to relay word by word in speech. Times I buried myself in tears because I felt I wasn’t eloquent enough…Times I wished I could speak the way I write. I walked away from ever trying again and never looked back.

Years later again God is saying let’s start over but guess what I am still raw and unrefined, still struggling to share the wisdom God has imparted in me over the years on this platform I believed he called me on. I still share the same thoughts of Moses from the beginning of his calling. Every week I have to trust God and lean not on my own understanding (Proverbs 3:5) and believe that he who has begun a good work in me will complete it (Philipians 1:6). One thing about God is that you can not be mad at him forever, even so he loves it when we are vulnerable with him with our feelings of hurt and disappointment because it’s in our brokenness and helplessness that he is glorified. 

The one thing I also have in common with Moses is that not only was he unqualified but he was chosen, I am confident in that I was chosen for a time as this which helps me to be patient to let the process take its place, the building, the refining of my speech until I could fully speak his truth. In Sesotho re re “thoto e tiea tseleng”.?I am fully commissioned to teach and preach the heart of God for marriage, to use my marriage as an alter and sacrifice for the transformation of the marriage covenant for generations to come. 

I felt convicted in my spirit to share my journey on YouTube so far , so that someone out there reading this blogpost can be encouraged to start….we all have to start somewhere. David was a shepherd, a warrior before he became a King. I wish really wish I could wake up and

Lightening would strike my tongue and autocorrect start speaking what’s in my heart but I have to practice until I perfect it….just start?Whatever God has called you to do and you feel inadequate, trust him to call you upon the shore into the waves and sustain you. 

Just like that we have come to the end of the blog. I missed writing so much and I am here to stay,

maybe I missed the comfort and familiarity of writing because it was not as scary….Guys I am back home ahaha. Thank you for reading, please subscribe to our YouTube channel @boldtiffy and our social media pages @boldtiffy. If your new to this platform, be free to go through our blog. 

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