“…the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan, loved him as his own soul.” – 1 Samuel 18:1. 

During my Daniel fast, I came across Jonathan and Davids friendship in the book of 1 Samuel. The friendship of David and Jonathan is one of the most beautiful relationships recorded in the Bible. This revelation lead me to evaluate my friendships and the one thing most of my long term friendships have in common is the fact that they are centered in Christ and Spirituality. These relations have played very impactful roles in my spiritual, emotional and mental growth, iron sharpens iron right? (Proverbs 17:17). When I am around these friends, I do not feel misplaced or overwhelmed by their presence. Everything flows from the core of who I am in Christ and it is reciprocated. Actually all relations in life, either marriage, business or friendships ought to be  centered in Christ, it brought me to 1 Corinthians 2:14, “The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit.” The reason why God encourages us not to be equally yoked with non believers is for the very same reason, there will always be a barrier of understanding because we speak different languages, it does not only apply in marriage but in friendships too. 

I find that because of my bubbly or charismatic personality, I make friends easily but lose them as easily. It used to bother me for a while, actually for a longtime like nah “I am actually a psycho, yini?). But then I would look at my friendships that have lasted since High School that maybe I can keep friends so I am not so much of a psycho, Lol.  “Most” friendships that I lost along the way, are friendships that chose me, chose to keep me for whatever reason just as most friends I was able to keep, I intentionally chose them. However, some  I intentionally chose and I ended up losing them along the way,  but they rejected me, as I probably I didn’t serve the purpose they were pursuing. But looking back on the friendships that chose me, or I accidentally jumped into, most of the time I would feel overwhelmed and misplaced, I couldn’t be myself and I always had to ignore who I was becoming in Christ to accommodate them. Eventually I would feel the need to overcompensate, that is a trap because you end up losing who you are and that is not how a any relationship is supposed to be.

Reading about the beauty of the friendship between Jonathan and David, I recall saying to myself, “Wow this is actually how a friendship is supposed to be”. They both discerned the God in each other. They were vulnerable with one another, imagine grown men crying together, such emotion to be shared amongst men is rare. They were also transparent with their expectations from one another but the most important part, God was at the centre. God was the reason why they became friends at the first place. After reading about them I was like oh my word, I want this kind of friendship, a Godly friendship and immediately I started praying for myself, child and husband to be enriched with friends like Jonathan. While I was praying faces of my friends flashed by, friends that I spend time with talking about Jesus and we would become engulfed with excitement and have deep conversations. Friends that go on a fast with me, friends that I can go cry and vent about my marriage and they listen and invest in prayer with me. Friends that pray for BoldTiffy and sometimes believe in the platform more than I do, Friends that speak life in my dire situations and believe God for breakthroughs with me. Friends that are frank to tell me when I am wrong and help me introspect and grow. As their faces flashed by, I felt a warmth of love. I knew I was loved and I knew I was blessed with friendships that emulated that of Jonathan and David, Godly friendships. 

Many moons ago, I remember I was mesmerized by an old acquaintance and I was busy gushing at their work ethic, and how brilliant they were in business, she eventually asked what are you passionate about? I remember I said, I am passionate about Jesus, I was a little embarrassed after that by saying that I mean girl read a business book or something yhooo but it was my truth. I am the type of person that can talk about God and spiritual growth the whole day and not get tired. BoldTiffy is feels natural because it is an extension of who I am. I love Marketing too, I didn’t just study it, I am passionate about it. The weird thing about this is that I am able to conceptualize the word of God and Marketing together. Marketing gives life to a product, just like receiving Christ gives us life, without marketing a product there wouldn’t be a brand name or brand identity. As children of God our identity is in Christ. I can go on and on. I understand now that it is impossible for me to build any type of relationship without Christ at the centre, no matter how much we have in common, in the end if the stem is not rooted in Christ the relationship is going to dwindle, whether it is a marriage, business or friendship. 

I have been a victim of jumping into friendships or relationships without thinking about it, but most importantly without praying about it. I would let things flow and I know I am not alone in this. However I have made a decision to never build any relationship without consulting God first, to stop going with the flow because I end up getting hurt or hurting other people in the process and wow friendship breakups are the hardest, the pits. Some people have the ability to categorize their friendships and associate them with areas of their life but unfortunately I love whole heartedly, it is hard for me to give myself in pieces and if I can not trust you with my vulnerability and neither can you, why waste our time?

May God reveal to you the same revelation I had about friendships going through the book of 1 Samuel. Friendships play a huge role in our lives and more so marriages, it forms part of the environment that cultivates our purpose on Earth and if a friendship doesn’t elevate you spiritually, mentally, financially and emotionally (Holistically). It is not worth your time and energy. May God also enrich your marriage with friends like Jonathan.

And just like that, it is the end. Its always nice to hear from you with comments, additions or constructive feedback.Thank you so much for always reading and please share with your loved ones, like, comment and subscribe. Follow us on Instagram and Facebook:@ BoldTiffy.

8 Responses

  1. A good read and food for thought!
    I’ve had to learn this in this past years after few friendship breakups. It all must have Jesus and feel somehow like home.

    “One of the wisest men to have ever lived, King Solomon, put it this way in Proverbs 13:20: “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.” Solomon suggests that we ultimately become like those we walk with. You may have heard it put another way: “Association breeds assimilation.”

    In other words, there is no such thing as a casual relationship. All relationships are consequential.” – Book by Dr Dharius Daniels called Relational intelligence

    1. I need to consume more of Dharius material, I love his wisdom. Its imperative to surrender every area of our lives to Christ its easy to miss friendships but friendships play a hige tole in who we are. Thank you always Fummie

  2. Well said! So often we talk or project on how we want material goods or career successes but very rarely meditate or pray on our friendships.

    It is rather ironic because if one thinks about it, your friendship group will very likely be the ones who make or break you. The adage, “show me your friends and I’ll show you your future”, springs to mind.

    Thank you for your writings, the consistency and the divine intent.

    1. So very Profound Tsepang, Friends form part of our environment, so they do have a potential to contribute in making or breaking us. We must be very intentional who we choose as friends because they cultivate our purpose on Earth. Thank you so much ❤️

  3. Dear BoldTiffy,

    Words elude me reading this beautiful written piece. I have enjoyed reading this and can honestly say putting Christ first in any relationship is for the wise (in terms of choosing wisely) to choose Jesus is to have life and if Christ is the center of that relationship there will be life instead of death ( e.g. unfruitful relationships) because they’re not build on solid foundation, on the solid Rock. I personally share the same sentiments!! To more Christ centred friendships! 💕

  4. A beautiful read, as always! After a few friendship breakups, I realised the importance of praying for Godly friendships. I share the same sentiments, before I commit into any friendship I pray first for God to bring the right friends into my life, who will impart value into my life and vice versa. It’s been almost a year now praying and I trusting God to bring such friendships my way, until then I will wait.

    1. May God bless you with Godly friendships that will help cultivate you into the will of God. Thank you so much Debby

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